Comments on: Q&A Fridays - How Do You Receive Encouragement? http://www.worshipmatters.com/2006/03/qa-fridays-how-1/ Resources for Leading Worship from Bob Kauflin Wed, 19 Nov 2008 12:49:22 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: anoninva http://www.worshipmatters.com/2006/03/qa-fridays-how-1/#comment-287 anoninva Mon, 27 Mar 2006 15:06:45 +0000 http://www.worshipmatters.com?p=103#comment-287 I'd just like to add to this, there is such a thing as flattery. Flattery is compliments that go over the top, that gush praise, and are focused all on the person (vs what they did or how it was an encouragement or how the Lord is working). Flattery, to me, is the very hardest because not only do I want to deflect the compliment, but as it is over the top, (and it's usually the same persons) I recognize it as flattery, and for that reason I want to point that out. But you really can't at that point, unless you have a really close relationship with the person, which is often not the case. All that to say: Christians, please be careful in your speech. There is such a thing as godly praise, or thanksgiving, especially if you help the person understand how they are reflecting the fruit of the Spirit or how you see the Lord working in their life. By contrast, it isn't helpful, and can be harmful, to merely flatter people. I’d just like to add to this, there is such a thing as flattery. Flattery is compliments that go over the top, that gush praise, and are focused all on the person (vs what they did or how it was an encouragement or how the Lord is working). Flattery, to me, is the very hardest because not only do I want to deflect the compliment, but as it is over the top, (and it’s usually the same persons) I recognize it as flattery, and for that reason I want to point that out. But you really can’t at that point, unless you have a really close relationship with the person, which is often not the case. All that to say: Christians, please be careful in your speech. There is such a thing as godly praise, or thanksgiving, especially if you help the person understand how they are reflecting the fruit of the Spirit or how you see the Lord working in their life. By contrast, it isn’t helpful, and can be harmful, to merely flatter people.

]]> By: Andrea http://www.worshipmatters.com/2006/03/qa-fridays-how-1/#comment-286 Andrea Wed, 08 Mar 2006 15:04:55 +0000 http://www.worshipmatters.com?p=103#comment-286 The 'frame' that I inherited from a mentor for talking about worship events after the fact was that of "values and concerns". It has changed the way I think about what I'm receiving from folks even when they don't couch it in those terms. It has also helped me to ask follow up questions to in order to dig around for the underlying values (or concerns) that they have. It is also a very interesting exercise to hear a list of feedback translated into those terms...often what is valued by some is a concern of others...helps to put things in perspective. And often it is so reassuring to realize that something that I had concerns about going into a service turned out to be someone's highest value. I guess it gets us beyond "I liked it" and "I didn't like it" and into the why's and how's. Thanks for these discussions!! The ‘frame’ that I inherited from a mentor for talking about worship events after the fact was that of “values and concerns”. It has changed the way I think about what I’m receiving from folks even when they don’t couch it in those terms. It has also helped me to ask follow up questions to in order to dig around for the underlying values (or concerns) that they have.

It is also a very interesting exercise to hear a list of feedback translated into those terms…often what is valued by some is a concern of others…helps to put things in perspective. And often it is so reassuring to realize that something that I had concerns about going into a service turned out to be someone’s highest value.

I guess it gets us beyond “I liked it” and “I didn’t like it” and into the why’s and how’s.

Thanks for these discussions!!

]]> By: dan mcgowan http://www.worshipmatters.com/2006/03/qa-fridays-how-1/#comment-285 dan mcgowan Sat, 04 Mar 2006 12:55:40 +0000 http://www.worshipmatters.com?p=103#comment-285 I am keenly aware of the reality that when I am doing what I do (as a music and worship leader) I am helping OTHERS encounter Jesus Christ - His presence and His power - as we sing, etc. I am also aware that I need on-going confirmation and/or affirmation of the gifts God has given to me - that they are being used in such a way that the above paragraph becomes a reality. When I first began as a music and worship leader, I would get comments such as "you are such a great musician" or "the music was so great today" and I offered in response the typical "no no, it's all God" sort of comments on the outside while on the inside I was delighted that the people liked me! Then, after God made it strikingly clear to me that my worship and music leadership is not about ME, but about HIM, the comments began to change... suddenly they were, "Dan, I really felt God's presence today" or "Dan, your music really helped inspire me in my walk with the Lord" etc. For me, this SECOND set of comments are the most important because they remind me that God is the gift-giver and the One (the only One) worthy of receiving glory and honor for the "leadership" of our worship. I am keenly aware of the reality that when I am doing what I do (as a music and worship leader) I am helping OTHERS encounter Jesus Christ - His presence and His power - as we sing, etc.

I am also aware that I need on-going confirmation and/or affirmation of the gifts God has given to me - that they are being used in such a way that the above paragraph becomes a reality.

When I first began as a music and worship leader, I would get comments such as “you are such a great musician” or “the music was so great today” and I offered in response the typical “no no, it’s all God” sort of comments on the outside while on the inside I was delighted that the people liked me!

Then, after God made it strikingly clear to me that my worship and music leadership is not about ME, but about HIM, the comments began to change… suddenly they were, “Dan, I really felt God’s presence today” or “Dan, your music really helped inspire me in my walk with the Lord” etc.

For me, this SECOND set of comments are the most important because they remind me that God is the gift-giver and the One (the only One) worthy of receiving glory and honor for the “leadership” of our worship.

]]> By: Steve S http://www.worshipmatters.com/2006/03/qa-fridays-how-1/#comment-284 Steve S Sat, 04 Mar 2006 01:31:39 +0000 http://www.worshipmatters.com?p=103#comment-284 So, given the topic, I'm not sure how to best tell you that this post was great! ;) I'll simply say that I thank you and (I'll help the intentional and internal transfer here!) I thank the Lord for posts such as this that succinctly, yet accurately, deal with real life issues (as opposed to just theoretical concepts) that we face in music ministry. I feel like you have been reading my mail on this one. When I think of this topic of receiving compliments properly, and compare where I'm at now (grateful to God) to earlier stages of my life (very prideful), I'm often reminded of the Scriptural account where Jesus is commending the woman that washed His feet. He tells the critics that one who is forgiven much loves much. I relate this to this topic from the standpoint that, for those of us who have gone through a period in our lives where we (often publicly) failed the Lord, and yet that gracious Savior of ours restored us and once again gave us the privilege of ministering...well, let's just say that it actually makes it easier to receive these types of compliments because we truly know that any glory and praise belongs to Him! To paraphrase Jesus' words, one who is forgiven much deflects glory to God easier. :) I am so grateful for the grace of God in my life, and am made even more fully aware every time a compliment comes my way. Thanks for being an encouragement here on this blog, Bob. steve :) So, given the topic, I’m not sure how to best tell you that this post was great! ;)
I’ll simply say that I thank you and (I’ll help the intentional and internal transfer here!) I thank the Lord for posts such as this that succinctly, yet accurately, deal with real life issues (as opposed to just theoretical concepts) that we face in music ministry. I feel like you have been reading my mail on this one.

When I think of this topic of receiving compliments properly, and compare where I’m at now (grateful to God) to earlier stages of my life (very prideful), I’m often reminded of the Scriptural account where Jesus is commending the woman that washed His feet. He tells the critics that one who is forgiven much loves much.

I relate this to this topic from the standpoint that, for those of us who have gone through a period in our lives where we (often publicly) failed the Lord, and yet that gracious Savior of ours restored us and once again gave us the privilege of ministering…well, let’s just say that it actually makes it easier to receive these types of compliments because we truly know that any glory and praise belongs to Him! To paraphrase Jesus’ words, one who is forgiven much deflects glory to God easier. :)
I am so grateful for the grace of God in my life, and am made even more fully aware every time a compliment comes my way.

Thanks for being an encouragement here on this blog, Bob.

steve :)

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